It amazes me how we can think our lives are just right, complete, and fulfilling, and then have a baby and realize how incomplete we were before the child came along. When my son, R, was born, I found that motherhood was exactly what I was meant to do. I couldn't believe how he changed my life. I felt more complete than I had ever dreamed.
Then along came my second son, B. Before he was born, I worried so about how he would fit into my complete little family. But the second he was born, it was as though this precious little piece snapped into the puzzle in a spot that I hadn't noticed before. Oh! So this is what it is to be complete!
We were complete that way for a long time, and then suddenly, I found out that I was going to have another baby. A girl. I looked at the puzzle that represented my life, and there really wasn't a place for another piece, but I figured God wanted me to squeeze one in. I didn't know how she could possibly fit. Then K came into the world, and SNAP! Oh, yes. I've been needing this piece after all.
And now I am again thinking my life is complete, that our family is "full." I don't think I could survive another pregnancy. And yet, I cannot help but wonder if there is another hole in the puzzle that I've just never noticed. After all, I've got a history of not seeing the big picture.
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